Life - Do we have a purpose?
Hello all,
Namaste! Hope all of you had a fantastic week where you were able to do exactly what you wanted to do to bring more of your true Self into your life. Last week we looked at our life from a philosophical point of view, what it is and what are the realms associated with it. Today let us look at our life from a different perspective. Do we have a purpose in life? Or does every soul come to this plane randomly, take birth, make some sort of purpose, live their lives and go. Is there more to it? Let us analyze.
Think we have been leading an okay life with a good job, enough money, and facilities. But even then we always feel there is something more we can do, that there is something amiss in life. Why do we always feel a bit of a discontent even when we feel we have all that a normal life can give us. If we have everything, we should feel satisfied, isn't it?
My take on this is that we come to this earthly realm with a very specific purpose, which many times we don't know or many times we ignore. The pull to do something more always is the way our inner Self/Soul is reminding us of the purpose we came here to do.
In the run to make our life, many times we forget about this, run behind whatever comes in front of us and is always in the pursuit of the next glittery thing that comes along. But instead of randomly drifting through life, what if we stop, look at the discontent we feel and see what is it truly trying to tell us?
Let me tell you my experience, how I was led to the purpose of Blog writing as of now I am pursuing. If this can be my experience, look at your own life with a very critical eye. What is it trying to tell you? Are you pursuing your true purpose or just drifting through life? Both oprtions we can take, as each one of us, has free will and our option to pursue our choice. But pursuing our true purpose we came here for, may give us and our life a very enriching experience. So let me tell you my career saga of the last twenty years, how I was led to truly open my eyes to what I am supposed to do. May be you can also get some insights from my struggles and aspirations. So here it is.
My experience:
In India: As all of you know, all through my last 20 years of my life, I was a scientist, spending my time in research laboratories and learning about DNA, protein, and genes. From my young age, I used to love Science and all Science related studies. In tenth grade, I came across Biology, which became the love of my life. So it was very natural for me to take up Science and continue my Science studies. I took two Masters, both in Biotechnology from India.
All through my school as well as college days, even though I used to write essays as part of my studies, I never once participated in an essay competition or a writing competition. It was always Science, Scientist jobs and experiments that captured my attention. Even then I was an avid reader of Arabian nights, Amarchitra Katha (cartoons on Indian/Hindu mythology), Panchatantra (moral stories with an Indian twist), and Aithihyamala (Temple mythology on Kerala deities). I also used to love going to temples, hearing the spiritual talks by people like Chinmayananda and being in a calm and peaceful place.
In between my dad took up some Astrology studies and he had a book as part of his studies. This book caught my interest. Whenever I got a chance I used to read it and asked doubts to my dad. I never pursued any Astrology studies and always it was reading the book, asking doubts to my dad and then just plain thought and analysis.
Once I finished my studies, even though I tried a laboratory research job, I ended up getting a technical sales job, which I didn't really like. You see, in those days Biotechnology was just coming up in India and it was like a very pioneer field. So there were only so many positions. Even though I could have gone for a Ph.D., I was more interested in getting a position.
Here in this job, I used to meet doctors, patients, and other lab personnel. When I look back I realize now, with a few of the doctors I was talking about life, how people were suffering from diseases and how it takes a lot of strength to get through the challenges of life. Especially there was a cancer specialist, who used to talk about his patients and how a kind word from someone will really make their day. So it was actually pure Philosophy in its rawest form. But did I realize the path divine was trying to show me? No! It was the daily grind of seeing doctors, lab people and achieving the target for the month.
In between also, I was trying to find a laboratory research job. But divine had other plans for me. In this meantime, my marriage was over and we were planning to move to the U.S.A. I was happy we are moving to the U.S.A, mainly because here Biotechnology was booming. Even though I was very sad to leave my parents behind, I was sure I would get a great position. Foolish me!!
In the U.S.A:
In Chicago suburbs: We first moved to the suburbs of the big city Chicago. I was very anxious to start my job search and then we realized the dilemma we were in. Even though my husband was on a work visa, I was a dependant on him for my visa, in other words, a dependent visa. In the U.S.A. on a dependent visa, one cannot work. One may not even get a driver's license, as the person doesn't have to work and no need to drive a car. I remember the tough time I had to explain to the driving facility lady why I wanted a driver's license. She was asking, "You are not working. Why do you need to drive?'
The thing is in my birth country India, there is good public transportation. You can survive just going by bus. All my education, I did use the bus facility. In the USA, things are different. Here almost every one owns a car. If one wants to even get a jar of milk or bread, the grocery store would be 1-5 miles away from where one stays. So to get grocery you will have to walk at least 2-3 miles, then carry all the grocery literally home. But luckily I was able to convince the driver facility lady how I really needed a driver's license.
But even then the problem of getting a job was a big question mark, as one cannot work on a dependent visa. This was the axe to my dreams of getting a good Biotech job. So now I am just sitting at home whiling away my time, with my mind constantly drumming on getting my Biotech job. So to keep my sanity, I started browsing on the internet and used to go to every Astrology site under the Sun and read upon Astrological perspectives. The special thing about Astrology is you can never remove it from the underlying Philosophy of life. If one pursues Astrology, the Philosophy also comes up as life circumstances, experiences and personalities. So I was immersed in reading Astrology/Philosophy. Like this around one and a half years went by. Even then Biotech was the only focus I had. All others were my hobbies.
Meantime, we moved to a new place, again in the suburbs of Chicago. Even though I was reading up a lot on Astrology, I was totally getting bored. The biggest punishment life can give is to have a bright mind and keep them alone without much interaction. That mind itself will drive them crazy. Now almost after two years I just could not digest the fact that I am not having a career. Nil! Nada!
So I discussed with my husband whether I should join for some certification course just to keep my sanity. He used to go for his work early at 6.45am and comeback only around 6.45pm in the evening. Literally the whole morning I was alone. How much can one watch TV, listen to music or sleep? Now when I look back on those days, I wonder how I managed to keep myself sane? I could have very well gone to the other side of sanity. So anyway he supported me, to go ahead and join a certification course.
I got the brochure of the nearby community college, started looking up on the certificate courses. There were not many courses on Biotech as mostly those are given at the Universities, not at community colleges. Whatever medical courses was there was a far cry from my background. So my husband suggested taking a computer certification, as in those days the IT (Information Technology) industry was booming and it was very easy to get an IT job. I absolutely had no interest in IT as my love was Biotech.
But anyway listening to his suggestion, I looked for an IT course. Till that time, I didn't have anything to do with IT in my life. So a very simple certification course 'Internet, Media, and Programming' caught my eye. It was the basics of the internet, some basic HTML programming, then a few graphics courses like Adobe Photoshop and finally programming with Java 1 and Java 2. So I started the course cribbing, crying and breaking my head against the fact that I am not pursuing Biotech, instead I am pursuing some random internet course.
I pursued the course till Java 1. Java 2 I felt extremely tough and stopped the certification. Yes, I didn't finish the last course on that certification. Anyway, my mind was not in it totally as I was looking for my long lost love Biotech. "Biotech, my love, where are you?"
In Philadephia suburbs: Meanwhile, we moved to the suburbs of Philadelphia. Here also I was looking to get back into my Biotech field. So once my second child was 1.5 years old, I joined the course for a Masters program at the nearest University to my place; as I was also a mother and I could not pursue studies at a University far away. It was very tough three years with assignments, projects, teaching assistantships, research assistantships, coursework, research and all the related paraphernalia.
As I was taking Masters by research in Biological Sciences, along with my coursework I was also supposed to do two years of laboratory research. I remember sitting till 2 pm at night correcting students quizzes and test papers as part of my graduate teaching assistantship. All weekends were going in Molecular Biology-Biochemistry tests and assignments. I even remember once the next day I had two major exams back to back and the previous day my first child was having a burning fever of 103F. Should I study for my exams or look after my sick kid? It was one of the toughest physically challenging times of my life.
Now when I look back I cannot even contemplate how I finished my third Masters. It was getting up early at 4 am, cooking, preparing breakfasts, lunches, waking up my kids, getting them ready, pack lunches for all including myself, rushing to the daycare center/preschool to drop off my kids, rushing to the University to get to my classes, labs, assignments and research. Evening the same rush back to the daycare/preschool before it closes, get my kids, rush home, give them a bath, prepare some food in between, have dinner, put them to sleep then around 9 pm sit to finish my assignments till 12 to 2am. Next day again starts at 4 am. Of course, my husband did help me whenever he can, by dropping our son to preschool or picking him up. But he also had his eight hours of work to go to, which was giving us our food and roof over our head.
I remember, my graduate program director at the Master's program, a beautiful soul, used to send me ladies with 1 or 2 kids, Indians, who wanted to try out for the Master's program at the University. I used to tell them it is a very tough breakneck speed schedule, with taking care of everything, which needed our attention. But all the ladies got afraid and not even one I talked to, joined the program. Anyway, once I finished the Masters it was a great feeling. Felt it was all worth it.
Now the next struggle in my life started. Finding a job. Applying to innumerous companies, calling up recruiters, talking to them, meeting them. In between even though I found two jobs as laboratory research assistants, I felt both were far below what I was wishing for. So after the term limit on the second job was done (it was a one year position), I restarted my job search. I have done too many cover letters, too many resumes, and too many calls even cannot keep tabs on the time I spent. In between, I even went ahead and did a certification course on 'Regulatory Affairs' to move into that area of Biotechnology.
But everywhere for Biotechnology, even after my intense love for that subject the answer was No, No and No! Is the divine deliberately making my life tough or am I totally ignoring what the divine was trying to show me?? Maybe the divine was shaking me up vigorously to wake me up from my slumber.
Move to become a Blogger: So finally in the middle of 2015 (Masters I did from 2007-2010), when it was almost two years after my second job, I got totally fed up with my love for Biotechnology. Here I was totally running or chasing something and it was running away from me even faster. Look at your own life at this time. Are you chasing something and is it running away even faster from you totally?
So I stopped everything, sending resumes, chasing references, calling up people, literally every action towards getting a Biotech job. I was angry, frustrated and at my wit's end. The doors all around me were closed to the realm of Biotechnology and I was totally stuck with the career part of my life. Totally stuck!!!
So to clear my mind and vent off my frustrations, I started going for quiet nature walks, after my kids were off to school. I will walk slowly thinking about what I am doing wrong. Where I am not being aware? Where am I missing the point? What is life trying to hammer into my head? The plain fact was literally staring at my face, only I was not seeing it.
It took almost two to three years of deep soul searching, by going for walks, doing Yoga and even by quiet contemplation for the fact to bubble up to the surface, that I have the spiritual and philosophical insights that I was totally ignoring. One will not have talents in our lifetime if we are not supposed to put it to use in some way. At the time when I was searching for my career and job, I already had everything I needed to start a great career, but something very different from what I was planning for myself. My plan was to become a Biotech person, but the divine's plan was something else.
So after a lot of blood, tears and intense soul-searching, finally around mid-2017, I started an entirely new career for myself. Oh! Forgot to mention, I even questioned the Universe and challenged it to show me a sign. It responded firmly by throwing a double rainbow at me. As of now I am myself managing everything, from idea to concept to writing to publishing. Totally my very own unique career. Was I ignorant, foolish and an idiot? Totally!!!
Analysis: Many times we have a plan for our life, which we try to put into practice with every bit of control we can get. But what if we really don't have control over our lives? What if we have already signed a contract (sacred purpose) with the divine even before we were born, that we would co-create exactly what we are supposed to do in this lifetime with the help of the divine? Any time gave a thought about that?
Now let us analyze from my experience. Here I was trying to control my life whichever way possible tooth and nail, by trying to get the job/ career I wanted in Biotech. I was literally ignoring my hobbies, passions, talents, and interests, to pursue what I thought I was interested in. Yes, I was interested in Biotech. But that started only after my school years. But even before that at my 7-8 years of age, I was totally immersed in Mythology, temples and the underlying Philosophy, whatever my young mind could understand.
I remember when the Amarchitra Katha (Cartoons on Indian/Hindu mythology) used to come, I used to fight with my sister to read it first. Anytime someone in my family was going to a temple, I was the first one to get ready and go. Then itself temples or quiet places used to give me much peace and serenity. During weekends I used to sit and read 'Arabian nights (we had a Malayalam version at home) back and forth again and again. Then Vikramaditya stories was another rendezvous of my young age. I remember once when I was doing my undergraduation, we went to Kanyakumari on an excursion. In the Vivekananda memorial, at the main hall, we were allowed to do a meditation for 20 minutes. The serenity I felt, even today I can remember crystal clearly.
It is said that hindsight is 20/20. Remember the 'internet, media certificate' I took? The one I was going for, crying, cribbing and scolding myself? Today I know how to use a Blog, how to use a content management system, how to correct a small HTML if there is a slight mistake in my writing, how to use Adobe Photoshop, how to do work on pictures, how to draw on pictures (remember the picture of 8 in my last post?), and how to proofread and finally publish. Also remember, the Java 2 class I didn't take? For blogging, one doesn't really need to know much programming. Isn't it fantastic that the divine arranges exactly the circumstances we need in our life, even though we cry, crib, scold and lament our fate?
In our quest for making something of ourselves in our life, we put blinders on and go full steam ahead for a dream we think we have. But what if the dream is supposed to be made by us and divine together and need to be co-created? What if the divine is very much a part and parcel of our dream?
Half of my life I was running/chasing behind a career, where I worried always. How much I have to commute? Where would I leave the kids after school? Who will take care of them if I am late from work? What if I got a job in another state? Should I stay there or commute every week? If I am away from the house, would my kids study well? So many ifs and buts. Remember, when we try to work out our own plan, everything is a struggle as we are working against the intention of the divine.
What is the effect if we are loggerheads with the divine? Who has more power, us a tiny speck in a tiny planet in a small galaxy in a humongous Universe or the creator of that very Universe itself? As I have written before, we are a drop in the ocean called the Universe. But when our intention aligns with the intention of the Universe itself, the power of the drop becomes the power of the ocean that it is a part of. (Did I put it the correct way?? :-))
Today I am here sitting at my home near a window writing, without worrying about where to commute, who would be my boss, will I hit the traffic when I am coming back home, will my kids be waiting for too long for me etc etc. I also answer questions on Quora and also help a few friends/clients who need Astrological help. So when the divine or the inner Self-becomes the charioteer of our life, our life goes to another level where most of our worries just vanish. We slowly start to become aware of only the present moment where the true creation happens.
So look thoroughly at your own life. What are you missing? What is your true purpose? What are you co-creating with the divine? Is the co-creation as well as divine, part of your life? Are you working against the intention of the divine? Going within and enquiring really brings out the answers you need to put into practice, the very best for your life.
Just before finishing, it was always my dream to work near a window, whether in a lab or an office, from where I could see the greenery and enjoy the vitality plants deliver. But I was always looking for a window somewhere far away, to where I had to commute daily. All that while the divine was working hard to bring me the same window in my very own house, next to my writing table. Keeping a snap of the same. The ways the divine works are amazing and extraordinary!
So let us all find our true purpose and lead a truly enriched life, co-creating what we want for our life, very much with the help of the divine.
I wish you a good weekend and I'll see you next Friday! 😉
Next week: Watch your dreams to catch your purpose!
Note: Images made by Swaroopa.
Ralph Waldo Emerson writes, "There is a time in every man's education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance ; that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself for better for worse as his portion that though the wide universe is full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given to him to till. The power which resides in him is new in nature, and none but he knows what that is which he can do, nor does he know until he has tried".
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Namaste! Hope all of you had a fantastic week where you were able to do exactly what you wanted to do to bring more of your true Self into your life. Last week we looked at our life from a philosophical point of view, what it is and what are the realms associated with it. Today let us look at our life from a different perspective. Do we have a purpose in life? Or does every soul come to this plane randomly, take birth, make some sort of purpose, live their lives and go. Is there more to it? Let us analyze.
Think we have been leading an okay life with a good job, enough money, and facilities. But even then we always feel there is something more we can do, that there is something amiss in life. Why do we always feel a bit of a discontent even when we feel we have all that a normal life can give us. If we have everything, we should feel satisfied, isn't it?
My take on this is that we come to this earthly realm with a very specific purpose, which many times we don't know or many times we ignore. The pull to do something more always is the way our inner Self/Soul is reminding us of the purpose we came here to do.
In the run to make our life, many times we forget about this, run behind whatever comes in front of us and is always in the pursuit of the next glittery thing that comes along. But instead of randomly drifting through life, what if we stop, look at the discontent we feel and see what is it truly trying to tell us?
Let me tell you my experience, how I was led to the purpose of Blog writing as of now I am pursuing. If this can be my experience, look at your own life with a very critical eye. What is it trying to tell you? Are you pursuing your true purpose or just drifting through life? Both oprtions we can take, as each one of us, has free will and our option to pursue our choice. But pursuing our true purpose we came here for, may give us and our life a very enriching experience. So let me tell you my career saga of the last twenty years, how I was led to truly open my eyes to what I am supposed to do. May be you can also get some insights from my struggles and aspirations. So here it is.
My experience:
In India: As all of you know, all through my last 20 years of my life, I was a scientist, spending my time in research laboratories and learning about DNA, protein, and genes. From my young age, I used to love Science and all Science related studies. In tenth grade, I came across Biology, which became the love of my life. So it was very natural for me to take up Science and continue my Science studies. I took two Masters, both in Biotechnology from India.
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| Text books of Biotechnology Garrett and Grisham, Lodish et. al |
All through my school as well as college days, even though I used to write essays as part of my studies, I never once participated in an essay competition or a writing competition. It was always Science, Scientist jobs and experiments that captured my attention. Even then I was an avid reader of Arabian nights, Amarchitra Katha (cartoons on Indian/Hindu mythology), Panchatantra (moral stories with an Indian twist), and Aithihyamala (Temple mythology on Kerala deities). I also used to love going to temples, hearing the spiritual talks by people like Chinmayananda and being in a calm and peaceful place.
In between my dad took up some Astrology studies and he had a book as part of his studies. This book caught my interest. Whenever I got a chance I used to read it and asked doubts to my dad. I never pursued any Astrology studies and always it was reading the book, asking doubts to my dad and then just plain thought and analysis.
Once I finished my studies, even though I tried a laboratory research job, I ended up getting a technical sales job, which I didn't really like. You see, in those days Biotechnology was just coming up in India and it was like a very pioneer field. So there were only so many positions. Even though I could have gone for a Ph.D., I was more interested in getting a position.
Here in this job, I used to meet doctors, patients, and other lab personnel. When I look back I realize now, with a few of the doctors I was talking about life, how people were suffering from diseases and how it takes a lot of strength to get through the challenges of life. Especially there was a cancer specialist, who used to talk about his patients and how a kind word from someone will really make their day. So it was actually pure Philosophy in its rawest form. But did I realize the path divine was trying to show me? No! It was the daily grind of seeing doctors, lab people and achieving the target for the month.
In between also, I was trying to find a laboratory research job. But divine had other plans for me. In this meantime, my marriage was over and we were planning to move to the U.S.A. I was happy we are moving to the U.S.A, mainly because here Biotechnology was booming. Even though I was very sad to leave my parents behind, I was sure I would get a great position. Foolish me!!
In the U.S.A:
In Chicago suburbs: We first moved to the suburbs of the big city Chicago. I was very anxious to start my job search and then we realized the dilemma we were in. Even though my husband was on a work visa, I was a dependant on him for my visa, in other words, a dependent visa. In the U.S.A. on a dependent visa, one cannot work. One may not even get a driver's license, as the person doesn't have to work and no need to drive a car. I remember the tough time I had to explain to the driving facility lady why I wanted a driver's license. She was asking, "You are not working. Why do you need to drive?'
The thing is in my birth country India, there is good public transportation. You can survive just going by bus. All my education, I did use the bus facility. In the USA, things are different. Here almost every one owns a car. If one wants to even get a jar of milk or bread, the grocery store would be 1-5 miles away from where one stays. So to get grocery you will have to walk at least 2-3 miles, then carry all the grocery literally home. But luckily I was able to convince the driver facility lady how I really needed a driver's license.
But even then the problem of getting a job was a big question mark, as one cannot work on a dependent visa. This was the axe to my dreams of getting a good Biotech job. So now I am just sitting at home whiling away my time, with my mind constantly drumming on getting my Biotech job. So to keep my sanity, I started browsing on the internet and used to go to every Astrology site under the Sun and read upon Astrological perspectives. The special thing about Astrology is you can never remove it from the underlying Philosophy of life. If one pursues Astrology, the Philosophy also comes up as life circumstances, experiences and personalities. So I was immersed in reading Astrology/Philosophy. Like this around one and a half years went by. Even then Biotech was the only focus I had. All others were my hobbies.
Meantime, we moved to a new place, again in the suburbs of Chicago. Even though I was reading up a lot on Astrology, I was totally getting bored. The biggest punishment life can give is to have a bright mind and keep them alone without much interaction. That mind itself will drive them crazy. Now almost after two years I just could not digest the fact that I am not having a career. Nil! Nada!
So I discussed with my husband whether I should join for some certification course just to keep my sanity. He used to go for his work early at 6.45am and comeback only around 6.45pm in the evening. Literally the whole morning I was alone. How much can one watch TV, listen to music or sleep? Now when I look back on those days, I wonder how I managed to keep myself sane? I could have very well gone to the other side of sanity. So anyway he supported me, to go ahead and join a certification course.
I got the brochure of the nearby community college, started looking up on the certificate courses. There were not many courses on Biotech as mostly those are given at the Universities, not at community colleges. Whatever medical courses was there was a far cry from my background. So my husband suggested taking a computer certification, as in those days the IT (Information Technology) industry was booming and it was very easy to get an IT job. I absolutely had no interest in IT as my love was Biotech.
But anyway listening to his suggestion, I looked for an IT course. Till that time, I didn't have anything to do with IT in my life. So a very simple certification course 'Internet, Media, and Programming' caught my eye. It was the basics of the internet, some basic HTML programming, then a few graphics courses like Adobe Photoshop and finally programming with Java 1 and Java 2. So I started the course cribbing, crying and breaking my head against the fact that I am not pursuing Biotech, instead I am pursuing some random internet course.
I pursued the course till Java 1. Java 2 I felt extremely tough and stopped the certification. Yes, I didn't finish the last course on that certification. Anyway, my mind was not in it totally as I was looking for my long lost love Biotech. "Biotech, my love, where are you?"
In Philadephia suburbs: Meanwhile, we moved to the suburbs of Philadelphia. Here also I was looking to get back into my Biotech field. So once my second child was 1.5 years old, I joined the course for a Masters program at the nearest University to my place; as I was also a mother and I could not pursue studies at a University far away. It was very tough three years with assignments, projects, teaching assistantships, research assistantships, coursework, research and all the related paraphernalia.
As I was taking Masters by research in Biological Sciences, along with my coursework I was also supposed to do two years of laboratory research. I remember sitting till 2 pm at night correcting students quizzes and test papers as part of my graduate teaching assistantship. All weekends were going in Molecular Biology-Biochemistry tests and assignments. I even remember once the next day I had two major exams back to back and the previous day my first child was having a burning fever of 103F. Should I study for my exams or look after my sick kid? It was one of the toughest physically challenging times of my life.
Now when I look back I cannot even contemplate how I finished my third Masters. It was getting up early at 4 am, cooking, preparing breakfasts, lunches, waking up my kids, getting them ready, pack lunches for all including myself, rushing to the daycare center/preschool to drop off my kids, rushing to the University to get to my classes, labs, assignments and research. Evening the same rush back to the daycare/preschool before it closes, get my kids, rush home, give them a bath, prepare some food in between, have dinner, put them to sleep then around 9 pm sit to finish my assignments till 12 to 2am. Next day again starts at 4 am. Of course, my husband did help me whenever he can, by dropping our son to preschool or picking him up. But he also had his eight hours of work to go to, which was giving us our food and roof over our head.
I remember, my graduate program director at the Master's program, a beautiful soul, used to send me ladies with 1 or 2 kids, Indians, who wanted to try out for the Master's program at the University. I used to tell them it is a very tough breakneck speed schedule, with taking care of everything, which needed our attention. But all the ladies got afraid and not even one I talked to, joined the program. Anyway, once I finished the Masters it was a great feeling. Felt it was all worth it.
Now the next struggle in my life started. Finding a job. Applying to innumerous companies, calling up recruiters, talking to them, meeting them. In between even though I found two jobs as laboratory research assistants, I felt both were far below what I was wishing for. So after the term limit on the second job was done (it was a one year position), I restarted my job search. I have done too many cover letters, too many resumes, and too many calls even cannot keep tabs on the time I spent. In between, I even went ahead and did a certification course on 'Regulatory Affairs' to move into that area of Biotechnology.
But everywhere for Biotechnology, even after my intense love for that subject the answer was No, No and No! Is the divine deliberately making my life tough or am I totally ignoring what the divine was trying to show me?? Maybe the divine was shaking me up vigorously to wake me up from my slumber.
Move to become a Blogger: So finally in the middle of 2015 (Masters I did from 2007-2010), when it was almost two years after my second job, I got totally fed up with my love for Biotechnology. Here I was totally running or chasing something and it was running away from me even faster. Look at your own life at this time. Are you chasing something and is it running away even faster from you totally?
So I stopped everything, sending resumes, chasing references, calling up people, literally every action towards getting a Biotech job. I was angry, frustrated and at my wit's end. The doors all around me were closed to the realm of Biotechnology and I was totally stuck with the career part of my life. Totally stuck!!!
So to clear my mind and vent off my frustrations, I started going for quiet nature walks, after my kids were off to school. I will walk slowly thinking about what I am doing wrong. Where I am not being aware? Where am I missing the point? What is life trying to hammer into my head? The plain fact was literally staring at my face, only I was not seeing it.
It took almost two to three years of deep soul searching, by going for walks, doing Yoga and even by quiet contemplation for the fact to bubble up to the surface, that I have the spiritual and philosophical insights that I was totally ignoring. One will not have talents in our lifetime if we are not supposed to put it to use in some way. At the time when I was searching for my career and job, I already had everything I needed to start a great career, but something very different from what I was planning for myself. My plan was to become a Biotech person, but the divine's plan was something else.
So after a lot of blood, tears and intense soul-searching, finally around mid-2017, I started an entirely new career for myself. Oh! Forgot to mention, I even questioned the Universe and challenged it to show me a sign. It responded firmly by throwing a double rainbow at me. As of now I am myself managing everything, from idea to concept to writing to publishing. Totally my very own unique career. Was I ignorant, foolish and an idiot? Totally!!!
Analysis: Many times we have a plan for our life, which we try to put into practice with every bit of control we can get. But what if we really don't have control over our lives? What if we have already signed a contract (sacred purpose) with the divine even before we were born, that we would co-create exactly what we are supposed to do in this lifetime with the help of the divine? Any time gave a thought about that?
Now let us analyze from my experience. Here I was trying to control my life whichever way possible tooth and nail, by trying to get the job/ career I wanted in Biotech. I was literally ignoring my hobbies, passions, talents, and interests, to pursue what I thought I was interested in. Yes, I was interested in Biotech. But that started only after my school years. But even before that at my 7-8 years of age, I was totally immersed in Mythology, temples and the underlying Philosophy, whatever my young mind could understand.
I remember when the Amarchitra Katha (Cartoons on Indian/Hindu mythology) used to come, I used to fight with my sister to read it first. Anytime someone in my family was going to a temple, I was the first one to get ready and go. Then itself temples or quiet places used to give me much peace and serenity. During weekends I used to sit and read 'Arabian nights (we had a Malayalam version at home) back and forth again and again. Then Vikramaditya stories was another rendezvous of my young age. I remember once when I was doing my undergraduation, we went to Kanyakumari on an excursion. In the Vivekananda memorial, at the main hall, we were allowed to do a meditation for 20 minutes. The serenity I felt, even today I can remember crystal clearly.
It is said that hindsight is 20/20. Remember the 'internet, media certificate' I took? The one I was going for, crying, cribbing and scolding myself? Today I know how to use a Blog, how to use a content management system, how to correct a small HTML if there is a slight mistake in my writing, how to use Adobe Photoshop, how to do work on pictures, how to draw on pictures (remember the picture of 8 in my last post?), and how to proofread and finally publish. Also remember, the Java 2 class I didn't take? For blogging, one doesn't really need to know much programming. Isn't it fantastic that the divine arranges exactly the circumstances we need in our life, even though we cry, crib, scold and lament our fate?
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| Some of my companions nowadays |
In our quest for making something of ourselves in our life, we put blinders on and go full steam ahead for a dream we think we have. But what if the dream is supposed to be made by us and divine together and need to be co-created? What if the divine is very much a part and parcel of our dream?
Half of my life I was running/chasing behind a career, where I worried always. How much I have to commute? Where would I leave the kids after school? Who will take care of them if I am late from work? What if I got a job in another state? Should I stay there or commute every week? If I am away from the house, would my kids study well? So many ifs and buts. Remember, when we try to work out our own plan, everything is a struggle as we are working against the intention of the divine.
What is the effect if we are loggerheads with the divine? Who has more power, us a tiny speck in a tiny planet in a small galaxy in a humongous Universe or the creator of that very Universe itself? As I have written before, we are a drop in the ocean called the Universe. But when our intention aligns with the intention of the Universe itself, the power of the drop becomes the power of the ocean that it is a part of. (Did I put it the correct way?? :-))
Today I am here sitting at my home near a window writing, without worrying about where to commute, who would be my boss, will I hit the traffic when I am coming back home, will my kids be waiting for too long for me etc etc. I also answer questions on Quora and also help a few friends/clients who need Astrological help. So when the divine or the inner Self-becomes the charioteer of our life, our life goes to another level where most of our worries just vanish. We slowly start to become aware of only the present moment where the true creation happens.
So look thoroughly at your own life. What are you missing? What is your true purpose? What are you co-creating with the divine? Is the co-creation as well as divine, part of your life? Are you working against the intention of the divine? Going within and enquiring really brings out the answers you need to put into practice, the very best for your life.
Just before finishing, it was always my dream to work near a window, whether in a lab or an office, from where I could see the greenery and enjoy the vitality plants deliver. But I was always looking for a window somewhere far away, to where I had to commute daily. All that while the divine was working hard to bring me the same window in my very own house, next to my writing table. Keeping a snap of the same. The ways the divine works are amazing and extraordinary!
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| The window near to my writing table |
So let us all find our true purpose and lead a truly enriched life, co-creating what we want for our life, very much with the help of the divine.
I wish you a good weekend and I'll see you next Friday! 😉
Next week: Watch your dreams to catch your purpose!
Note: Images made by Swaroopa.
Ralph Waldo Emerson writes, "There is a time in every man's education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance ; that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself for better for worse as his portion that though the wide universe is full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given to him to till. The power which resides in him is new in nature, and none but he knows what that is which he can do, nor does he know until he has tried".
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